It takes 4 years to get 4 years

29 Sep 2022

My dearest Rodney

It’s been 4 years. 4 years. 1460 days..One day at a time. I sure miss you and I would give anything to have you back with me healthy..but I wouldn’t take a million dollars to have you suffer. So, here we are. You, doing your new mission, however that works, me, doing my thing here in God’s green earth.

6 years ago we were exploring the Himalayas..hard to imagine so close and yet so far..truly another lifetime ago.

29 Sep 2016, base camp Mount Everest, Tibet

I’ve had so many emotions, changes in the past year. On the creative side of my brain, I’ve switched to oil painting and learning so much after getting back with Susan Blackwood as my teacher. I miss my water colors, but I want to learn so, I keep going! So much to learn!

I still have the desire to have a place in France..I’m 0/2 in that score..I may have to change my criteria…so complicated! I feel at home here in France, and also Fernleaf Kentucky. We talked about having a place in both countries back in 2001 when we left Burgundy, fast forward to 2022 and it’s still on the table..we’ll, maybe!

I started renovating Aunt Betty and Uncle John’s house..renovating is a kind’s a total redo..took it down to the floor..and now it’s coming up. I’m sure You and Uncle John are squirming with the amount of money I’m spending..but I’m doing it. Gotta live somewhere after I retire! No date yet, but it will be soon rather than later. I went to KY see the house worksite, and also saw Our family . Those KY hills are calling and I’ve answered…I have a place to go home to..and I think it will be just fine. Your marker is there, my future market is there, I visited again back in August. Sure would have loved to be doing this house project and planning our life together . Since that’s not an option, I take what I have with me spiritually.

I had a feeling a few months ago, that I’m going to be ok..strange to say 4 years after your death. The feeling was that I’m going to be able to do this life with you right behind my eyes.

I switched over to a French contract for work. Still discovering what that means. I got my new visa which is good for 2026, so hopefully I won’t need to renew it. Still waiting on my French social security card and French medical card. Got my first set of Michelin test tires today and will soon contribute to the French equivalent of a 401k. In the meantime, the stock market and our investments are tanking..I’m holding the course and I know that Bear or Bull market I’m going to be ok. Im grateful for the feelings, dreams and ideas I get that still connect me to you.

I love you Rodney..I still love you. Love does not die with death. I will always love you. With you by my spiritual side, right behind my eyes, I’m going to be ok.