#7 on the first year of the widow’s journey

Though day love of my life

23 April 2019

Today…The 23rd of April…A day I always loved…a day I always smiled, a day I always had gifts and flowers, a day I always felt like a Princess…until today. Today I fought back tears, today my stomach was in knots, today I couldn’t concentrate on anything, today I ate comfort food all day, today I bought myself a mall bouquet of flowers, today I bought myself something…today I missed you something terrible. Today I ask God to bless you Rodney…it’s the best I can do today. It’s just the best I can do. You’ll always be the Love of my life. Always. Our wedding day back in 1983, our “redo photo shoot” of 2018 just before we left China, and now…23 April 2019. My life collapsed into a time warp photo. Breathing deep and hoping to sleep. I love you Rodney. I will always love you.

7 Months since go to heaven day

29 April 2019

I didn’t hear it audibly Rod, but it sure came to me today “Welcome to your new life Sarah”, just the way you told me it did with you when you crossed the bridge in KY in November, 1981 on your way to Paducah. 30 days sober, having received a job offer in Paducah, taken as a sign that you and I were to be together from that point on. What a wonderful life we shared..Ups’s and downs, tears and laughter, fear and confidence..and so many other emotions. Above all there was and still is Love… you remain an “is” in my life, not a “was”. Today as I sit here listening to the packers pack up our stuff, heading to France…I shed some tears knowing that you are with me and that it was either you or God or the Holy Spirit and some combination of all of the above that created that thought in my brain..”welcome to your new life Sarah”. It is a new phase in my life Rod, one which I will continue to need your help. I love you so much Rodney, so so much. You will always be the love of my life Rodney, old life, new life, any life…you will always be the love of my life. I ask God to bless you “real good” today Rodney.