My dearest Rodney ,
It’s hard to believe this year will mark the 6th Christmas without you and all of my « heaven people » here on this earth. I’ve decided to stay in France this year and have continued the habit we had of not traveling from one winter to another winter! I’ve already made plans not to be too alone, yet finding ways to keep some « me » time.
This year, was a year of transitions…I remember last year, I had this strong feeling that I was in transition..at that time I didn’t know exactly from what to what..now I have more understanding..it wasn’t going to be 1 thing..but many)!
Here are just a few transitions that marked me during 2023
– moving from one apartment to another one (not at my initiative..but it has worked out, and allowed me to do a first « cleaning » of stuff! )
– finishing one career (36+ years in manufacturing excellence) and preparing to start another (still through Michelin, working as a loaner executive to help an environmental foundation in 2024). I’m sure more will be revealed to me later for this adventure
– finishing my KY house and preparing to move there (not sure of the date yet, but planning starts to be clearer now)
– saying « I don’t know how to cook » to learning to prepare tasty and beautiful meals (to be determined if I can reproduce these et home!)
From a chef at the Paul Bocuse institute in Lyon«
– seeing my maiden name on official ID here in France (as a widow, it’s their rule) rather than our married name that I continue to use.
-… and many others that you know, but I won’t mention here…
It’s like the chambered nautilus. It has to build the next chamber and move out of its current chamber to keep living. I’ve posted the poem of the same name by Oliver Wendall Holmes, but I post again..it speaks to me especially in these times of transition.
The Chambered Nautilus
This is the ship of pearl, which, poets feign,
Sails the unshadowed main,—
The venturous bark that flings
On the sweet summer wind its purpled wings
In gulfs enchanted, where the Siren sings,
And coral reefs lie bare,
Where the cold sea-maids rise to sun their streaming hair.
Its webs of living gauze no more unfurl;
Wrecked is the ship of pearl!
And every chambered cell,
Where its dim dreaming life was wont to dwell,
As the frail tenant shaped his growing shell,
Before thee lies revealed,—
Its irised ceiling rent, its sunless crypt unsealed!
Year after year beheld the silent toil
That spread his lustrous coil;
Still, as the spiral grew,
He left the past year’s dwelling for the new,
Stole with soft step its shining archway through,
Built up its idle door,
Stretched in his last-found home, and knew the old no more.
Thanks for the heavenly message brought by thee,
Child of the wandering sea,
Cast from her lap, forlorn!
From thy dead lips a clearer note is born
Than ever Triton blew from wreathèd horn!
While on mine ear it rings,
Through the deep caves of thought I hear a voice that sings:—
Build thee more stately mansions, O my soul,
As the swift seasons roll!
Leave thy low-vaulted past!
Let each new temple, nobler than the last,
Shut thee from heaven with a dome more vast,
Till thou at length art free,
Leaving thine outgrown shell by life’s unresting sea!
It sure is different without you here beside me to talk about these changes..I’ve had to adapt Rod. As my dad said when my mom died, « I can’t be a hermit, life goes on »..truer words never spoken. Even so, I really miss you Rod, and as you know, you remain just behind my eyes..especially during times of transition.
I’m grateful to have had our time together Rod, I’m grateful to have a good job, a great network of friends and family, the wonderful memories I’m making before and after your death, and the spiritual growth I’m experiencing while listening to the Bible in a year podcast, God’s grace and mercy as I go through the many transitions.
I love you Rodney, i will always love you. Merry Christmas in Heaven…that’s gotta be something special!
Love Sarah
The Journey of LIfe 